Attn: IRS 
Enclosed is my 1999 tax return & payment. 

Please take note of the attached article
from the USA Today newspaper. In the
article, you will see the Pentagon is paying
$171.50 for hammers and NASA has paid $600.00
for a toilet seat. 

Please find enclosed four toilet seats (value
$2400) and six hammers (value $1029). This
brings my total payment to $3429.00. 

Please note the overpayment of $22.00 and
apply it to the "Presidential Election Fund,"
as noted on my return. Might I suggest you
the send the above mentioned fund a 1.5 inch
screw." (See attached article...HUD paid
$22.00 for a 1.5 inch phillips head screw.) 

It has been a pleasure to pay my tax bill
this year, and I look forward to paying it
again next year. 

Sincerely, 
A satisfied taxpayer 

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